“The hardest part of love is the letting go”

When I was in undergrad I was in a musical called “Children of Eden.” I played the part of Japheth, one of the sons of Noah. While I don’t remember much about this play I do remember a powerful line from one of the songs. “The hardest part of love is the letting go.”

As a parent I am reminded of this everyday, especially with my two oldest. They don’t need me like they did as infants. They no longer meet me at the door when I come home from work. They have seen their superman meet his kriptonite enough to question my strength.

Their training wheels have come off their bikes, I took them off myself. They are fluent readers and have begun to develop their own interests and formulate their own opinions.

They have reached a stage where they need me to parent them differently than their younger siblings. It is easy to love a two year old who is dependent on you and knows it. The bond between the helper and the helpless is not easily broken. It is much different to love a ten year old who does not reciprocate your affection and is convinced that you are in her way.

It would be easy for me to disengage and let them both go their own way. However, I also know that this is not what they need from me. They need me to be stronger than ever. Strong enough to allow my girls to question my beliefs and let God stand up to scrutiny. Strong enough to love my wife and let them see how a woman should be treated. Strong enough to be happy and find joy even in the chaos. Strong enough to pursue them and laugh with them through the eye rolls and lack of affection. Strong enough to lean in and love them more now than ever. Strong enough to bend my knees and pray to my Father for a better perspective and relate to Him like never before. Unreciprocated love may be the purest form of love. It’s time to let go and lean in!

with love,

Shawn 

“In Eden grows a rose without a thorn

And your children start to leave you

On the day that they are born

They will leave you there to cheer for them

They will leave you there to mourn…

Like an ark on uncharted seas

Their lives will be tossed

And the deeper is your love for them

The crueler is the cost

And just when they start to find themselves

Is when you fear they’re lost…

But you cannot close the acorn

Once the oak begins to grow

And you cannot close your heart

To what it fears and needs to know

That the hardest part of love…And the rarest part of love. And the truest part of love… Is letting go!”